4: Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant

5: or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;

6: it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

7: Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

We are all human and sometimes make mistakes in our personal ads and email messages. It is hard to know a person’s heart without first investing a great deal of time and energy in the process. So always try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Typographical mistakes happen. Ask for clarification before you accuse someone of obscenity or harassing you. Look for a pattern of abuse not just one incident or mistake. For example: we occasionally get members requesting that we take down profiles of people who have indicated they’re a man searching for a man or a woman for women. More often then not when we check into it the person involved simply checked the wrong box.

Don’t rush. Review everything before you submit it or send it. You can always change your profile but you can’t take back an email once you’ve sent it.

Be Safe Online

Most of our members are just like you, they just want to sincerely be in touch with others and enjoy the process of meeting a potential faith-mate. With just a few wise safety measures and everyday common sense you can protect yourself from the small number of bad characters that every Christian dating site attracts. Once they’re in place you can then move forward confident that you did everything you needed to do to protect yourself, your privacy, and trust God to do the rest.

Some Simple Precautions

Even though all your email conversations are handled through FaithMate.com and we don’t give out your personal information it is still a good idea to go to Hotmail, Yahoo or Google and create an e-mail account that you can use for any e-mail you might want to do outside of the website.

Make sure that you use something like “yournickname@hotmail.com” or “fakename@gmail.com”. To be doubly sure that you remain anonymous don’t put your real name into the address. You don’t have to be a genius to figure out that “ billsmith@yahoo.com” is really Bill Smith. What’s great about setting up this kind of anonymous email is if someone does end up bothering you, you can just dispose of it without any issues for the people who you do want to communicate with.

Never provide your real first and last name in your profile. Keep your contact and location details enlightening yet none specific. For example: “I am the only Doctor in Amherst, New Jersey is not as good as “I’m a Doctor in New Jersey.” inexact is not insincere. It keeps an unwanted online-stranger from being able to track you down.

Always use a nickname in your profile, and when you post a photo, make it a current shot with no identifiable location information visible. Women, keep it conservative not sexy. Men, don’t take the risk of showing your bare, muscular chest…some may think that you are vain, arrogant or just plain in-love-with-yourself. Emphasize your personality. Don’t write or show any information that would allow an online-stranger to track you down. When the time is right, you will share your private information, but not until you choose to do so. If another member cannot wait until you feel comfortable with the relationship and tries to pressure you before you are comfortable doing so, move on!

EMOTIONAL SAFETY

Don’t rush into making an emotional investment in someone you have just met online until you know exactly whom you are investing in. Infatuation is not love. Love takes time. Slow and steady wins the race. You should plan on keeping the first meeting brief and public. It’s always good to set expectations. Instead of a full blown date why not arrange to meet during the day for coffee or a brief lunch. Then if it isn’t going well you can always leave without either party feeling bad about it.

Don’t feel guilty for leaving early. Trust your instincts, your common sense, etc. That is why God gave them to you. Dishonest communication leading up to the first face-to-face meeting is often the reason this first meeting with an online-stranger does not “go well”. A brief, face-to-face meeting, can quell the pangs of infatuation, and show firsthand how honest you both have been with each other. There is nothing like reality to keep things on the right track. A brief face-to-face meeting within a month or two after your mutual interest in each other becomes apparent will verify their credentials before you invest your trust and emotions in an online-stranger. Not everyone who joins an online Christian dating service is on the up and up. In fact Christians can be overly trusting and naïve at times. Sure, we want to think the best of someone, but remember that until you verify what a person says by meeting their family or friends or pastor, all you really have to go on is what this online-stranger has written or said to you.

Remember you have the right to feel safe, and enjoy the online dating experience without being pressured, harassed or hassled by an online-stranger, or my own sin-nature, or my own feelings of desperation, or family/peer pressure.

Always ask yourself: Does this person sound too good to be true? Does what they have communicated so far make sense to you. Have you been honest with them and yourself? Have you honestly evaluated everything written or said by this online-stranger? Or are you blinded by wanting to hear something or read something into their words that really is not there? Have you been totally honest yourself? God blesses honesty. For God is Truth and Light and in Him there is no darkness.

PHYSICAL SAFETY TIPS:

1. Always write down exactly where and when you will be meeting and include the name and contact information of the person you’re going to meet. Then give it to a trusted friend or family member.
2. In addition to giving a trusted friend or family member the name and contact information, try to give them a resent photo.. Right-click on their personals-ad-photo to download it to a folder on your PC.
3. Always insist on meeting in a public place. Don’t let them pick you up or even know where you live. If your phone number is not unlisted, get a new phone number, or better yet get a cell phone.
4. Never leave your purse, wallet or keys unattended. If you go to the restroom take your property with you. Remember, guarding your keys, personal information, etc. is not rude, it is wise.

SPIRITUAL SAFETY.

Who you are spiritually is a very profound part of you. Pray. Pray. Pray. But use your common sense as well. It may sound real “spiritual” to make your first meeting a worship service at your home church, but think again. We all hope and pray that the relationship with this new firend will blossom into a life-long-love. But what if it does not? Meeting at church reveals to this online-stranger exactly where to find you every Sunday. Not to mention the fact that most churches have church directories. Are you in it? Keep your first face-to-face meeting as anonymous and public as possible.. Face it; some of us Christian tend to be far too trusting and naive. Sometimes we live in our “safe” little world, and for the most part, we try to insulate ourselves from the evils of the real world. God does not expect you to drive your car without auto insurance, and God does not expect you to meet an online-stranger without taking every precaution. Using common sense precautions will actually help you relax and enjoy your first “date” or meeting with an online-stranger. May God bless you with much joy and happiness as you seek His perfect will. Finding your special, personal Adam or Eve for a lifetime of happiness can be a very fun process when you exercise a few precautions and common sense.

First let’s make one thing perfectly clear, almost ANY photo is better than none. It’s a fact that better than 50% of online daters won’t even look at profiles without any pictures. And of those that will- they are 7 to 10 times more likely to respond to a profile that has a picture than one that doesn’t!

Today’s inexpensive digital cameras make it possible for you to take a good picture. But they can’t correct the aesthetics; all they can do is capture the image you provide. Even Denzel Washington looks ordinary (if such is possible) when the lighting is wrong or the pose is unflattering.

Here are some tips that you can put to use today!

1. Don’t look rigid

Have a good friend be the photographer. Try to forget about the fact that they’re taking your picture and just chat. While you’re interacting like you usually would your friend can just keep clicking away. Pet the dog, stroke the cat, pick up a pan whatever. Digital pictures cost nothing! Also, try not to keep your hands right by your sides. Instead, clasp them in the front or in the back, or hold on to your eyeglasses to help relax your body.

2. Minimize wrinkles and avoid shiny skin.

Foundation for women and translucent powder for men are quick fixes. However the real secret is lighting. To get as much light on your face as possible pose near the closest light source, like a window if your indoors. Always use a flash, both inside and outside – the flash will illuminate your skin and help hide imperfections. Make the most of your scenery. Photographs taken on a white sandy beach or a snow-covered surface tend to be more flattering because the reflective qualities of those surfaces help de-emphasize wrinkles and pockmarks. Of course, some scenery is just not practical for online dating profiles, but you understand what we’re saying.

3. Avoid shooting a double chin

Professional photographers will tell you to pay attention to the camera position. If the lens is at your eye level or above, you’re in the right frame. If the lens is below your eye level, then you run the risk of looking like you have an extra chin. One trick is to bend down so you’re at least on an even plane with the photographer (assuming it’s not a full-body photo). If you’re significantly taller than the photographer, sit in a chair and look up toward the camera. Or have the photographer stand on a chair.

4. Avoid a fake smile

The best way to avoid a fake smile is not to have one. Have your photographer friend say something that you think is funny. Or think about a joke you know that makes you laugh and tell it to yourself. Lastly, some models suggest that if you’re self-conscious or critical of your smile, practicing before a photo shoot can be helpful.

5. Avoid “red eye”

Glance at a lamp or the nearest light source right before the photo is taken. This is because red-eye usually occurs in a dim room when the irises have opened up so much that the retinas, which are red with blood vessels, light up when the flash hits them. Glancing at a light source helps because when the pupils affix on something bright, they shrink, reducing the potential for red-eye.

6. Crop your photo

Cropping your photo is easy. Just about every computer has editing software that lets you crop, correct color and more. Get rid of the background and focus the picture on what’s important… you!

7. Highlight your skin tones

Wearing colors that flatter your complexion reduces your risk of looking drab and brighten your overall look. If you have warm skin tones, go with colors in the orange and red families, like coral. If you have a cool complexion, try bluish and violet colors.

What you have here are some simple tips to make yourself as attractive as possible. A good quality, recent photograph is the best strategy. So, choose the best camera you can, choose the colors that convey both the mood and personality you want and note the simple guidelines above to avoid unflattering poses. And, be sure to post more than one picture. Following these suggestions will help get you noticed!

The competition for attention on online dating services is fierce. So fierce, in fact, that some people resort to lying or posting outdated photos to try and attract attention. It’s critical that you are honest when you create your profile and with your photos so that you don’t meet (or interact) with others under false pretenses.
So then what are some important things you can do to build a better profile?

Here are three specific profile tips you can use to improve your profile right now.

Here’s how one person started her profile:

“To be quite honest, I have been putting this off as long as possible. I have friends who use Match and have had some terrible dates.”

It makes you wonder, “what is she doing here?” Now compare that to this introduction:

“I’ve heard online dating is a great way to meet awesome people and that’s why I want to meet you.”

Which one of these profile intros is more attractive? The one who wants to date “losers” or the one that wants to date “winners”? Psychologically everyone wants to be a winner. Therefore in your profile, avoid anything negative like the plague. Be positive.
If you have anything negative in your profile (”I hate country music,” “the last guy I dated was a liar and cheater,” “I’m sick of being alone,” “I’m sick of the bar scene,” etc.) then go edit it out immediately and replace it with something positive (”I love independent music and artists, like…”). Always be positive; not just in your profile, but also in life.

****Bonus Tip****

Change your header message and main photo often. It keeps it fresh and interesting for people doing searches and increases the chances of it being viewed. Be creative.
A great way to make your profile better is to analyze profiles you really like. What is it that you like about them? What makes the profiles different?

Now what will you do to make your profile different?