Next week is my boss’ birthday and I am wondering if I should give him a gift or not.  I have worked there about six months and we work closely together but neither one of us has had a birthday so there is no protocol set.  It’s a small company so I don’t know what other people do.  What is appropriate?

As a Christian, what would you do and why?

The Real World Perspective

Faithmate’s Ethics Advisor says…

When it comes to gift giving, a boss giving to an employee is the norm, because giving gifts to a superior can be seen as brownnosing or trying to buy your way into his or her good graces.  That being said, a small “token” gift is not inappropriate.  If you have a close working relationship, and your gift is really coming from the heart, select something safe (like an item for the home or office) and of no more than $20-$30 in value.  Attach to it a note conveying what a pleasure it is working for him/her.  This will show your sentiments without looking like you have ulterior motives.

The Real WORD Perspective

Faithmate’s Spiritual Advisor says…

Proverbs 11:14  Where no counsel is, the people fail: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.

Of course, these are just two opinions!  As a Christian, do you agree or disagree?  Post your comments below…

I have had this situation a few times in the past and I never know how to handle it.  Let’s say you are on a first date with a man and you know that you are not interested in him in a romantic way.  At the end he asks if he can call you again or if you would want to go on another date.  Is it better to be nice and say yes then make up an excuse when he calls, or to be honest and tell him?  And if you are honest, how honest should you be??

As a Christian, what would you do and why?

The Real World Perspective

Faithmate’s Ethics Advisor says…

I believe what you are really asking is whether it is more compassionate to be honest up front or to string the person along a bit, thinking maybe the blow will be softer if left for later.  My belief is that most people would rather know up front if there’s no chance, so they can close the door and move on to more realistic opportunities for romance.

Now, to address your second question: not too honest…especially if the answer would cause the person to be embarrassed or feel badly about themselves.  I find a good explanation meets two criteria: It isn’t cruel and it can’t be argued: “I had a great time with you, but I feel I should be honest; I just don’t feel a romantic connection.”  Aside from the fact that it’s often true, this is an excellent explanation, because it’s not too personally insulting.  Romantic chemistry/connection is an inexplicable thing that doesn’t really have to do with looks or personality.  It simply is or it isn’t.  So next time it isn’t, tell him…without too much detail.

The Real WORD Perspective

Faithmate’s Spiritual Advisor says…

Proverbs 16:20 “He that handleth a matter wisely shall find good: and whoso trusteth in the Lord, happy is he.”

Of course, these are just two opinions!  As a Christian, do you agree or disagree?  Post your comments below…

My girlfriends and guys I know have different opinions on this so I want you to please set the record straight.  When you go on a first date (assuming the man is paying) should you order something really inexpensive or whatever you want, regardless of price.  I have even heard that you SHOULD choose one of the most expensive things to see how he reacts.  Is there a code of first date ethics or something for this?

As a Christian, what would you do and why?

The Real World Perspective

Faithmate’s Ethics Advisor says…

While there is not a concrete code of ethics, I suggest you follow two general guidelines: First, ask what he’s having and follow his lead.  For example, if he orders the surf-‘n’-turf, you know you’re good to go on any item (as well as a soup and salad, if you so choose).  However, if he sticks to a modest entrée—or orders just an appetizer—you might consider being more price conscious (although I don’t believe you must stick to exactly the same type of item as him).  Secondly, if you happen to know that money is tight, I also advise not ordering over-the-top, out of consideration; this doesn’t, however, mean that if you think he’s well off, you must order everything on the menu!

Finally, in absence of these indicators—like when you are forced to order first and/or you know nothing about his financial situation—go middle of the road.  If you simply order what you like, without going overboard, you’ll enjoy the meal more and therefore be a more pleasant dinner date.

The Real WORD Perspective

Faithmate’s Spiritual Advisor says…

Ezra 7:17 ¹⁷Use the money carefully to buy the best bulls, rams, lambs, grain, and wine.  Then sacrifice them on the altar at God’s temple in Jerusalem.

Of course, these are just two opinions!  As a Christian, do you agree or disagree?  Post your comments below…

I am a married man for the last 6 years and last month I got a message on my cell phone (the same number I’ve had for years) from an ex-girlfriend.  The message said she just wanted to see how I was doing and left her number and said to call her back.  I contemplated what to do, if I should call her back just to be nice and whether I should tell my wife.  I am a Christian man and I love my wife deeply.  Because of this I decided to tell my wife and not to return the call.  Was this rude to my ex that I didn’t call back?

As a Christian, what would you do and why?

The Real World Perspective

Faithmate’s Ethics Advisor says…

I believe you handled this awkward situation absolutely perfectly.  You are obviously a good man and an honest one…and one who cares about the feelings of others.  But, as you should, you care most about the feelings of your wife and wouldn’t want to disrespect her by rekindling communication with an ex.

Even though you feel “rude” by not responding to your ex, you are wise enough to know that reconnecting with exes once married is stepping into dangerous territory.  Think about it.  Why was your ex calling now, years later?  Did she really just want to make sure your life had taken a positive path?  Possibly.  But doubtful.  Most likely, she was secretly hoping for something that you aren’t in a position to give.  Furthermore, not returning an ex’s call does not make you rude.  Instead, most intelligent adults understand it simply says, “I am happily married and know that nothing good is going to come from reconnecting.”

The Real WORD Perspective

Faithmate’s Spiritual Advisor says…

Job 12:11 ¹¹We hear with our ears,

taste with our tongues,

Of course, these are just two opinions!  As a Christian, do you agree or disagree?  Post your comments below…