Will being overweight affect my finding a mate?

 Dear G- 

I have been divorced for two years. Before my divorce my husband and I were active in church and entertained alot. I’m a good cook and enjoy food so I put on more than 50 pounds while I was married. He said that was one of the reasons he divorced me. I was really depressed after the divorce, but I went on a diet and lost most of the weight.  Now I am starting to put it back on since I’m the only one eating the food I cook. I would like to lose another 20 pounds before I feel comfortable dating.

 The problem is that my company cut my hours and I can’t afford to get a gym membership. I have diabetes and just found out that I have borderline high blood pressure too.  I’m on medication for both of them. I also don’t have any health insurance. The doctor told me I have to lose weight if I want to get healthy. I want to be healthy and happy, but I can’t afford to. I don’t even know where to start. Do you have any suggestions?

                                                             Amanda

THE DEAL

 I’m going to call you Amazing Amanda for keeping the weight off for two years! Do you realize what a great accomplishment that is?  According to the International Journal of Obesity, 95% of the people who lose weight on diets gain back every pound within three years. As a Certified Personal Trainer, I’ve had many clients who came to me after losing weight by dieting and gaining all the pounds (plus a few extra) right back. So give yourself credit – you deserve it. Now let’s get you through the next year!

 First, though, do me a favor, girl . . . email the passage below to your ex:

 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.  –Romans 12:1-21 ESV

 Now, say Amen, Amanda, ‘cause only God should determine what is good, acceptable and perfect.  I bet Ol’ Dude enjoyed your good cooking to the tune of a few extra pounds, too. The man has no right to judge . . . only God can do that, and He carried you through the trial of divorce. But you’ve brought some big, unnecessary emotional baggage along with you – low self-esteem and poor body image. In God’s eyes, your body is perfect . . . He made you! Your responsibility is to keep your body healthy. . . that’s what makes it hot, aahiight?

 Truth is, on the dating tip, self-confidence is the greatest aphrodisiac. Just as many black men like their women on the thick side and with some “junk in her trunk” as do those who prefer women on the slimmer side. Fortunately, we black women come in all sizes, hues and shapes. Unfortunately, we also have the highest percentage of obesity, diabetes and heart disease – the metabolic syndrome — and there are legitimate health concerns when we reach the morbidly obese category.

 But it ain’t about the fat as much as it is the “footwork”. More and more, research is pointing to inactivity as the culprit — not the fat. People who are the fittest live the longest – no matter what they weigh. “If you are a couch potato, being thin provides absolutely no assurance of good health, and does nothing to increase our chances of living a long life,” says Steven Blair, Director of Research, at the renowned Cooper Institute for Aerobics Research. So stop trippin’ off the few extra pounds and focus on . . .

 THE REAL

 Get up! Get moving! Get Healthy! . . . and get out there, girl! An amazing thing happens when you start moving your body – your self-esteem takes flight long before you get light. Your body produces endorphins (natural “feel good” drugs) when you exercise, that raise your joy level and self-confidence . . . just what you need to be a great faith-mate!

 You don’t need a gym membership to walk for 30 – 45 minutes a few times a week. Doing your cardio workout outside provides a lot more benefits than being on the treadmill in a crowded, noisy, germ-dense gym environment (they say that Vitamin D from the sun is good for building immunity to the swine flu, too). Find a friend and get to hoofin’. Add a few hills to your route as a great tush-tightener.

 If you have a “muffin top” thing going on around the middle, get an immediate slimming effect by doing this simple move:

 “Put a string on your belly button; pull it to the back!”

 My clients are always amazed at how much slimmer they look by doing “what yo’ mama taught you.” Hold your stomach in (but keep breathing); imagine putting a string on your belly button, then pulling that string to the back. Your shoulders will automatically go back, too. The benefits?

 You’ll look taller and slimmer

• Your internal organs will function better
• Your body will circulate oxygen easier, so you’ll breathe easier
• Your abs get a “freebie” isometric workout

 Remind yourself to do this throughout the day until it becomes a habit.

 If you still want a more “gym-like” workout, talk to the women’s groups in your church about starting fitness or walking clubs. Many churches are becoming more fitness conscious in response to the diabetes and heart disease epidemics in the black community.

 A regular exercise program done several times a week has resulted in many people having their medications for diabetes and heart disease reduced or even discontinued (***medication changes and exercise programs should be done only with a doctor’s orders). The American Diabetes Association can provide a good eating plan for you. Their website is diabetes.org, and the eating plans are free.

 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

 Everything you need to take care of God’s temple is also available to you – free of charge. Go get it, girl!

                                       G