Should you tell a friend she lacks talent or keep quiet while she quits her day job?

Dear Faithmate Ethics Advisor,

A friend of mine is 33 and works as a legal secretary, but she says she hates it and wants to be an actress.  She’s been talking about it for a couple years and now she is thinking of quitting her job so she can work at night and try to go on auditions.  I try to be supportive of people following their dreams, but I recently went to see her in a play and she was not good at all (she didn’t have to audition for the play because it was VERY small).  What should I say when I see her this weekend?  Is it mean to be honest or worse to NOT be honest?

As a Christian, what would you do and why?

Faithmate’s Ethics Advisor says…

It’s a tough choice to make, as you feel you are either giving her false hope or offending her with your opinion of her acting abilities!  Therefore, my advice is to be honest about her chances of making it as an actor, but keep it to yourself about her lack of skill.  The truth is that even if you tell her you don’t think she has talent, she will find a way to rationalize it.

When you see her next, I would express your hesitation about anyone beginning an acting career at her age—explaining that most successful actresses start when they are young, and unfortunately, many established actresses over the age of 35 have trouble getting a job due to the ageism that exists in Hollywood.  Based on this, I would make two recommendations: First, advise she put a backup plan in place, ideally in a related field that she would enjoy, but that is more realistic (something behind the scenes maybe?).  Secondly, suggest she enroll in acting classes as a way of networking.  In reality, when she is able to assess her talent in comparison to others, she will likely come to her own conclusion about her odds of silver-screen stardom.

Of course, this is just one opinion!  As a Christian, do you agree or disagree?  Post your comments below…