Is it your place to tell a coworker’s wife about your past with her husband?

Dear Faithmate Ethics Advisor,

About three years ago I dated a man I work with.  During the time he was broken up with his long-term girlfriend, who is now his wife.  We still work together and are now on friendly terms (nothing more) and he is happily married.  The problem is that he never told his wife that we dated because he was worried that she would be threatened that we still see each other every day.  I now have to see her at work functions pretty often—she is very, very sweet to me and I feel bad, like I am lying to her.  Should I tell her and just get it out in the open?

As a Christian, what would you do and why?

Faithmate’s Ethics Advisor says…

In a word, no!  It’s his marriage and therefore his decision what to tell and what to keep.  Your telling would surely start unnecessary trouble in what is otherwise a happy marriage; furthermore, every couple has their own agreements as to what they do and don’t discuss regarding their actions while they were not committed.  It is quite possible that their mutual belief simply differs from what you would or wouldn’t keep from a partner.

As far as your own guilt, you needn’t have any, because you didn’t do anything wrong: You dated a man who was, at the time, single.  Sure, it’s unfortunate that you are put in this position, but it’s really just a fact of life.  So keep your mouth shut, release your guilt, and focus on your own happiness.

Of course, this is just one opinion!  As a Christian, do you agree or disagree?  Post your comments below…