Dear Faithmate Ethics Advisor,
I’ve been dating a man seriously for a couple of years. The problem is that his mother makes nasty comments to me and he doesn’t do anything to stop her. When I tell him that I wish he’d say something to her, he says that it won’t do any good and I know how she is, so I should just ignore her. This makes me feel like he’s not sticking up for me.
As a Christian, what would you do and why?
Faithmate’s Ethics Advisor says…
You have every right to feel that way…and you should tell him as much! You need to initiate a talk (yes, here the dreaded “talk” is warranted) and make it clear that if you are to ever become your own family, he needs to treat you as the woman in his life. And this means not accepting rude comments toward you from anyone. Ask him to sit his mother down alone, and kindly explain to her that she doesn’t have to love you, but that she does have to treat you with respect. If he can’t stand up to his mother for putting you down, you should seriously consider cutting him loose.
Of course, this is just one opinion! As a Christian, do you agree or disagree? Post your comments below…
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5 Comments So Far
Your advice is somewhat correct,but most mother’s can feel when the lady is the “wrong one” for our son(s). On the other hand most mothers raise their sons to be the man that they wish that they would have had,and that is why so many mothers have a problem letting their little boys grow up to be men. Personally I do not approve of my son’s girlfriend, but I don’t have to live with him or his lady. I have done my job raising him, and the rest is between his lady and God with whatever they decide to do together, but she probably will not be invited to dinner or any family gatherings.
I agree!
I know just how you feel. I went through the same thing with an ex-boyfriend. His mom and one of his sisters treated me like that. I would tell him constantly but, he never did a thing. It’s very hard to have a healthy relationship with that stuff going on. We were together for 8 years and as time went on, I got more & more unhappy. Maybe all of that was a sign? Don’t do what I did and go on for years & years frustrated. Find out from God now what you should do!
Blessings♥
I definitely disagree that this is a matter of a mother having some kind of instinct that you’re wrong for her son. It appears to be a matter of a lack of manners and a lack of respect for her son. It also could be that the mother has control issues and the son has problems dealing with difficult situations. Just from an assessment of what you have written, it looks as though he’s putting the responsibility on you to deal with his mother’s rudeness when he should have done so (respectfully) from the beginning. Since the two of you are not married, it might be a good idea for you to avoid the mother. I would be extremely prayerful about marrying this man, though, because if he will not stand up for you now as your friend what will change after you become his wife?
Well, life situation is hard sometimes. My story is so painful and hurtful I can not tell it all. You see, I have six sons and each one of their women (wives) are unsaved. they have pulled them away from Church, God, and parents and family. These women are the most evil and hateful women in the World. When I see my sons, I see death. All they want is money and riches of the world. This is a hurtful things to reach out to people and invite them in your home and family and they destroy it! I use to have a close relationship with my sons now, they send Hate mails. see, the women are happy now, but I am hurt until death. I respected and trusted those women. If the women are not Christian, you are in a direction of Hate and destruction for you and your family. pray for me.
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