Dear Faithmate Ethics Advisor,
I’ve been on three dates with a woman who is funny and attractive and goes to my church. The problem is that I’ve got a nagging worry because she always mentions money, and I do pretty well financially. One of the first things she asked was what I did for a living, and she often complains that she wishes she had money to buy this or that expensive thing. It sounds bad, but I’m worried she might be a gold digger.
As a Christian, what would you do and why?
Faithmate’s Ethics Advisor says…
First and foremost, follow your gut! When we have a “nagging worry” about anything, there’s usually a reason to be concerned. However, before you cut her loose, you might try a little test to see how much she’s in it for the money: Simply stop spending on her…and see if she hangs around. I don’t mean to stop taking her out altogether, but scale back on the expense, and definitely do away with gifts. Her reaction should give you a pretty accurate answer.
Of course, this is just one opinion! As a Christian, do you agree or disagree? Post your comments below…
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5 Comments So Far
I don’t like the term gold-digger. If someone is after money they are not a gold-digger they have the spirit of greed. Let’s no play with the devil. Proverbs 4:6 (NIV) says “Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you.” If you think she is greedy, it will manifest it self in many different ways not just in what you spend on her while dating. If she is looking to be “taken care of” financially, that too will manifest it self. The problem isn’t her; its you. Where are your boundaries? What are you willing to put up with? She knows what she wants. Do you want to give it to her? If she isn’t what you are looking for, it’s okay to part company. You are not obligated to anyone. Listen to the Holy Spirit. Don’t forsake what He is telling you. If you lack wisdom, ask for it. He is faithful and just o give it to you.
First of all a mature woman of God should be so into God that money and things are not her focus. And if the relationship is based upon things that are temporal then it is doomed for failure. And as for the man he should not be so quick to share his personal financial status with just any woman regardless of what she might ask of him. Anytime a person male or female starts out seeking provision and not pure intimacy all in Christ the ends results is just as it started out all for selfish gain. And when things run out the relationship is built upon sinking sand and not the solid rock!
I agree, if you have a check in your Spirit then something is wrong. I believe she is testing you to see if you will offer her money.
We are given the discernment we need from The Holy Spirit. What we do with it is our responsibility. If you have that “gut” feeling go with what you know to get a clear picture of what this lady is about.
The word of God says man look on the outside but God look on the inside brother you need to search the heart and not every one that goes to church are saved fast and pray God will order your steps in his words be bless.