Dear Faithmate Ethics Advisor,
I am an African American woman, and one of my close Caucasian friends has said things that I consider to be borderline racist. The couple times she has made the remarks, she has done it in a joking way, and she has said things like, “I know I can joke with you, because you are not like that.” There are a lot of good things about this girl—for example, she is very generous and has helped me out when I’ve really needed someone—but I am not sure I can continue to be friends with someone who I feel might not respect me and my heritage. How should I handle it?
As a Christian, what would you do and why?
Faithmate’s Ethics Advisor says…
Since you do point out some positives about your friend, my advice is to try once to talk to her about the remarks. I am certainly not making excuses for her behavior, but sometimes ignorance, rather than sheer racism, is at the source of so-called “jokes.” That being said, I would sit her down in private and explain how these statements make you feel…and that an inappropriate remark against your race is an insult against you. Should your explanation be met with anything less than shock at her own insensitivity, a humble apology, an eagerness to genuinely understand your feelings, and a willingness to search inside herself for the source of her comments, I’d consider demoting this “close” friend to a mere casual acquaintance.
Of course, this is just one opinion! As a Christian, do you agree or disagree? Post your comments below…
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