Dear Faithmate Ethics Advisor,
I am a Christian woman who is 48 years young. While I am conservative in my beliefs and morals, I like to dress trendy, a little sexy, and keep up with the latest styles. However, I am worried that at some point people may look at me and think I am not dressing my age. Is there a certain age when a woman should change her style? And if so, how do you know when the time has come?
As a Christian, what would you do and why?
Faithmate’s Ethics Advisor says…
In short, yes, there is a time when a woman should not wear certain styles. My feeling, however, is that a woman in her 40s, 50s, or beyond does not need to become completely conservative in her choice of attire…but rather she should stick to a similar style, eliminating only the most youthful items and making slight alterations. For example, if you were a tight jeans, midriff-baring T-shirt type of gal in your 20s, you might move to tight jeans and a more classic T or button down in your 40s. In specific, the things I feel should be avoided after approximately 40 are very short mini skirts, belly-baring tops, anything school-girlish (i.e. pigtails or plaid pleated skirts), brightly died or streaked hair, and anything else terribly trendy or revealing (not including beach attire). A great way to cultivate your adult style is to choose a couple celebrity women who are your age, and whose styles you admire. If you are conflicted, ask yourself whether they would wear the item.
As far as how you will know when the time has come for change, it’s simple: You will start second guessing your choices. Like you are doing by writing this question.
Of course, this is just one opinion! As a Christian, do you agree or disagree? Post your comments below…
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8 Comments So Far
I bellieve there is a time and place for everything nothing is wrong being trendy but is how we wear it and what we wear as long as we are not exposing our self to the world because the word says we in the world but not of the world and paul said we must adorn ourself in modess apprel.
For the most part, I do agree with most of what is said about slight changes but the tight fitting jeans still convey a worldly point of view when you are trying to dress modestly. We are in the world but not of the world.
Interesting topic. I am a 49 year old saved, single, female Minister. Years ago, I recall being taught by Mothers and older ladies in the church regarding proper saintly attire. We had YPWW (Young People Willing Workers) and other important times in which the more seasoned saints would talk to the younger women about how to dress and carry themselves, and mostly how to be respected by others. We don’t see this teaching being generated in a lot of our churches. Most dress trends have been dictated by the worldly market and advertisement. For me, I started out trying to immitate what was taught. Dress down to my knees, long sleeves, and no pants and shame facedness. This lasted awhile until I finally was saved.
Not by words of others but by The WORD of God. I truly believe that I am saved because the things I use to do, I no longer have the desire for anymore. I can never change myself. This had to be by God. I was also seeking HIM with my hold heart and not trying to please people. No one had to tell me to take off the tight fitting, revealing clothing or too short dresses. I was finally under conviction. My age, I am often told that I am beautiful or look nice and this was something that did not go to my head. I believed the Word> I will beautify the flesh with SALVATION. Conviction is what sets us apart from others and not trends, age or anything else.
I once heard a male friend say years ago how they determine a woman’s IQ by the tightness of her jeans. Well, I can’t say I totally agree with this but it certainly sparked my curiosity. So I started paying attention. Another close male friend of mine shared with me the reason why I am not approached by men as other ladies. I first thought this was bad for me, then he said: A man can look a woman and tell if she is approachable just by how she carries herself and dresses. “He said that most men are intimidated by me because they see me as someone who knows what she want and will not stand for just anything. I am not caught up in myself and I walk with my head up, confidently and God fearing”. This my friends, put the largest smile on my face that I have had in a while. I knew the Lord was with me and had to reveal this to him. Awesome God.
My advice to young ladies is to be a God fearing woman of God, totally convicted and the other will come naturally. I pray for more of these especially those rearing future young ladies. We are in this world but we do not have to be like the world. My belief in God dictates who I am and Whose I am. I still love my long dresses and modest apparel and I am a beautiful, saved, single, christian, female Minister.
God loves you and so do I.
Conviction.
Question. What is the difference between a christian woman size 2-3x, adorned in a beautiful 2 piece suit with low cleavage and a christian woman size 8 (36/24/36), adorned in the same identical suit? The suits are identical and the women are different sizes. Both women are in a church setting. Is there any difference?
No difference; the issue is the low cleavage. Women of GOD must remember that we are “citizens of heaven.” In the world but not of the world. A man of GOD is looking for a woman of GOD and would therefore not be turned on by low cleavage (in public). He who findeth a wife, findeth a good thing. So, HE’s looking for her. Our focus should be to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with our GOD. Has GOD not told us that HE would supply all our needs? Has HE not told us that HE would give us the desires of our hearts? GOD is not a “man” that he should lie, nor repent. Keep the focus on the Kingdom which is up (keep the neckline up-Kingdom connection; keep the neckline low-Hell connection). Amen?
Thats a good question, however, i do believe in this thought advance by the Bible, that whatever we do as Gods people we should do it for the lord. moreso, i like to dress good and look fine but i must do it in a way that God will be glorified, wether am young or old.There are dresses that bring out your beuty without exposing you to questions.Hence i will say its the state of the mind
I believe that we women can dress trendy and show self expression without being vulgar. My mother always taught me there were several occaisions and several modes of dress. We learned there was “business,” “business casual,” “formal,” “semi-formal,” “after 7″ (meaning for the club!!)… and “Sunday’s Best.” She also had a problem with women wearing pants on Sunday morning, and my step-father had a problem we us girls wearing short skirts or even shorter shorts. His rules made me a little self conscious (I still don’t wear shorts and don’t wear pants to Sunday service) but we learned not to walk down the street wearing something you might wear at a club or dance. We learned when to wear a gown and when to wear a Tea-length dress. Many women today don’t know the difference between the two. And whether you are in or out of the church walls, ladies need to understand what is appropriate for the time and place you are in. If that is done, age does not come to play. Because appropriate dress is not stressed, I believe that women (and some men) no longer know what to wear – and when to wear it. I saw old pictures of my grandparents. My grandmother wore a nice hat and white gloves on every occaision. My grandfather always wore a shirt and tie, except when he went to work. To me, that was an age where we had class. All of that teaching has not been passed down. That, I am sorry to say, is very sad for the Saved and Unsaved.
I agree and believe this is one of the precious things that seems to have faden away. But sister you have a voice and an experience and sometimes we are looking around who will do a certain job. You Be that voice and start within your circle or church to bring conscienceness about this matter. As a matter of fact you already started addressing this issue by placing this article.
Wish you the best.